Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
