I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
