They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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