You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
