I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize