lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
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My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
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