So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
