Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He felt like a one man threesome
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
