I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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