Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
