You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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