dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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