Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
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I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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