Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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