I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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