I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
