Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
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my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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