Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
