New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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