it wasn't lemon gatorade
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
