i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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