So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
