Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
should my penis look like a turkey
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
