That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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