let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
