Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
