I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I wear drunk well.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
