My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
