Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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