you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
