what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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