Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
