Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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