Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
