found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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