I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
