Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
