i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
