Porn is love you can see.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
