Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Welp...herpes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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