next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
