..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
