I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize