there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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