why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
