i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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