Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
