Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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