Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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