if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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