My brain says no but my pants say off.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
