I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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