she kept yelling 'call me bella'
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
