I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize