Church boner. Awkwardddd
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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