so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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