i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
