Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
